When Green River native Wendy Koivusaari went to Finland as a foreign exchange student, she never thought she’d find love.
Now, 30 years later they share their story and advice on making the love last.
GREEN RIVER — Reijo “Ray” and Wendy Koivusaari describe their relationship of 30 years as being the ying to each other’s yang.
Wendy, who works in the lab at Ciner, is the free-spirited, everything spur-of-the-moment type. She grew up in Green River.
Ray, who is an equipment operator for the county Road and Bridge Department, is calm and calculated. He’s more of a planner. When they met, the then 19-year-old already had a house and steady job.
The couple met at a party when Wendy was a 17-year-old foreign exchange student in Finland.
“It was a drunken free-for-all, so we won’t talk about that too much,” said Wendy with a laugh. “But there was an empty spot next to me and I said, ‘You can sit down. I won’t bite…hard.'”
“Yeah, I was a little scared,” joked Ray. But they liked each other right away.
The next few months went quickly as they got to know each other and before they knew it, she had to return to the United States. But they already knew they wanted to spent the rest of their lives together.
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Phone Calls and Mix Tapes
The following year was spent apart, but filled with love letters and nearly going broke to pay for phone calls across the ocean.
“Those phone calls were expensive, like $1 a minute. You couldn’t call until payday was coming up,” said Ray.
And, of course, mix tapes. “The young generation does not know the love that goes into making a mix tape,” said Wendy. “You had to decide what songs you were going to put on your mix tape that would pour all of your heart out into it.”
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Moving to Finland
When Wendy graduated from high school, Ray came to United States to visit.
“I hadn’t told my family much about these grand future plans that involved me leaving and potentially not coming back,” said Wendy.
Ray met with Wendy’s father. “Her dad said that if things don’t work out, he was going to kill me,” said Ray. “Well..then I gotta make it work.”
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Nearly Deported
Wendy moved to Finland, but things ended up progressing faster than they were planning. The Finland government was going to deport her.
“I had the wedding dress. We were going to wait a year, but we couldn’t,” said Wendy. And so, they were married in 1988.
They spent five years in Finland and had two children over there. They returned to the United States so that Wendy could pursue her nursing degree.
“We came back here with just two kids and two duffle bags of stuff,” said Ray.
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The Importance of Flexibility
They’ve got three kids, now ages 28, 26, and 15. They describe the years raising kids and going to school as piecing their schedules and time together like a puzzle. And they credit their flexibility as how they got through it.
“When I was in college, he was the one cooking dinner and pretty much being the mom. I was going to school and working long hours. We put pieces together and made it work,” said Wendy.
They both cited flexibility as being of paramount importance.
“Bend backwards once in a while. You can’t win all the fights. I like to think I do, but I know I don’t,” said Ray. “And she’s always right,” he added after a pause and a laugh.
They couple said that communication and humor are also so important.
“If something is bothering you, bring it out in the open,” said Ray. “Don’t hold it to yourself and [growling noise]”
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Finding a Common Interest
Once kids have grown a bit, finding a common interest helps. For Wendy and Ray, it was running.
“We didn’t have any common interests until a couple years ago,” said Wendy.
They discovered they enjoy traveling to new cities to run races. They’ve gone to Chicago for a 15k and Louisville where she ran a half marathon with Ray as her pit crew.
For their 30th wedding anniversary, they’ll celebrate by going to Seattle to run a race.
“We travel, we eat, and we run,” said Wendy.
They don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, but as Wendy says to Ray, “Every day is Valentine’s Day with you.”
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