Aquarius: Keeping things out of reach of children will be important this week. The impulse control in your youngest’s mind will be defective throughout the week and may result with them walking into the shower with two eyebrows and leaving with none.

Pisces: Not acting to share your darker sense of humor during the coming April Fool’s Day is highly advised this week. Going rabbit hunting with your kids, only to sprinkle Easter candy around your prey will end with a bucket full of tears and a future therapy bill.

Aries: You will want to rein in your creative side and avoid going full experimentation mode in the kitchen this week. Strawberries and cream yakisoba sounds like a fanciful dessert, but your tastebuds and stomach will rebel against you.

Taurus: You’re not imagining things – there really is a plot against you. Your trip to the landfill upset the resident seagulls and they’ve been strategizing against you and your shiny truck. Invest in some tarps.

Gemini: Stepping back and ensuring you have the green light to proceed on a project will prevent heartache later on. You’re excited about possibly having chickens, but starting that coop only to stop if the Rock Springs City Council opts to pass on it won’t only be a disappointment for you. The hungry and wiley coyotes that have been keeping an eye on your backyard will be disappointed as well.

Cancer: Ditching the winter wardrobe for the season is ill-advised for the next few weeks. Wyoming is in that phase where she can’t decide if it should be cold and snowy or warm and sunny. Avoid being seen as the crazy guy who shovels snow in their shorts.

Leo: It may be time to re-evaluate how you treat others. The fact your “friends” have a group chat that has a specific rule to not invite you is reason enough to expect three ghosts to visit your home Christmas Eve.

Virgo: With the annual spring practice having started in Laramie, you and many others are catching that brown and gold bug. Purchasing a large box of antiacids months before the first kickoff will do you good throughout the upcoming season, as it will be another roller coaster of emotions.

Libra: It might be a good week to re-evaluate how much screen time your children get this week. The foreign-sounding language he’s started using comes from his favorite YouTuber. You could try inserting Gen Alpha lingo into your everyday speech, but the moment you say “skibidi rizz” to describe something is the day the bartender cuts you off on principle.

Scorpio: A quiet evening will help melt the accumulated stress from the past few weeks. Not being bothered will be key, the only way you can ensure this is locking your husband and kids out of the house for a few hours.

Sagittarius: An expected friendship will present itself this week. You’ll end up befriending the night worker at your local convenience store – he’s a cool guy and will make sure all dressed chips will be in stock for your late-night cravings.

Capricorn: Exposing your children to nature will broaden their view of the world. Taking them to see goats grazing along the Bitter Creek will bring them joy, as well as questions about if the water is good for them. Whatever you do, don’t tell them about any three-eyed fish in the creek.