Aquarius: You will have a sense of superiority this week. Keep your ego in check, even if all you do is laugh when you drive your Hummer through the potholes along Flaming Gorge Way.

Pisces: Carving out some time to enjoy some casual conversation with friends will lead to new horizons. While a change of scenery will be nice, it’ll be hard to return to the Red Desert after exploring the freedom of the Canadian countryside.

Aries: A checkup will go a long way in settling concerns about your health. A checkup is a good idea, but the fact of the matter is that food coated in spicy sauces and peppers is the cause of all those problems. Seriously consider eating things that won’t corrode your cookware.

Taurus: With news of the Rock Springs City Council possibly reconsidering its stance on chickens, your goal of becoming a millionaire may come to fruition. Step one: a massive chicken coup in the basement. Step two: creating a black market for eggs.

Gemini: Opening yourself up to doing something outside of your wheelhouse will bring unexpected joy this week. This will be an unexpected venture as your kids introduce you to this thing called “Roblox.”

Cancer: A long-awaited opportunity will be within reach in the coming days. Whether or not you decide to reach for it is up to you, but not going for it will always leave a question lingering in your mind. Just what would things be like if you decided to open that poutine palace?

Leo: Cookies, chocolate, grapefruit and more will be in your future. It’s hard to turn down children trying to earn a buck for the organizations they’re a part of. At least you’ll have something to eat for breakfast as the price of eggs continues to soar.

Virgo: Maintaining a skeptical mind will be key to knowing when you’re being lied to. They may claim their crabby behavior is due to Mars being in retrograde, but is Mars always in retrograde?

Libra: Romance may come dancing its way towards you this week, but questioning if it’s true love will keep your heart from shattering. Sure, they may say they’re a true Whovian, but are they a card-carrying member of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society like you are?

Scorpio: You’re feeling angry over something that can be chalked up to a misunderstanding. Your coworker may have said his Ford F-150 is the king of pickup-trucks, but that wasn’t a slight against your Nissan Frontier. Everyone loves your Nissan Frontier.

Sagittarius: Keeping up with your kids is going to be a bad idea in the near future. There’s a reason why they can consume 10,000 calories and not gain weight. If you try it, you’re going to be bigger than Santa by July.

Capricorn: Your furry friend is going to be annoyed with you this week, leading to a confrontation at the food bowl. He knows sticking his food in that magic box you have in the kitchen makes everything taste better. That’s why he’s going on a hunger strike until you start showing him the same courtesy you show your family.